one slip could wreck month of effort.
in best case scenario, need month to recover to back to start. worst case, never start it again.
So about 2 month and half ago, I am in the heat of the change, after weeks of reading keto book and book about eating, I am so convince on that time, I will be succeed on reducing my weight and stop eating junk.
But I am wrong! like I used to be, I am forget about what I strive for, forget about bad think that happened to my body when I eat junk, and then back to old habits of eating anything that my tongue want.
first it start small, There is event in my life, little bit I forget about my diet, then I start to eat not real bad food, just little bit bad. then after that, I start really eat junk, and rationalize myself that it is only once, after I taste it, I will stop, but it is a lie, a lie I always tell myself, a lie.
then for the next 2 and half month. I eat like there is no limit, eating whatever I want and how much I want. I buy jar of nutella with oreo and eat it in one sitting, buying doritos, till my tongue can’t enjoy it anymore.
the result of all of this is that make my stomach balloon and my weight now touch 98kg++
it is really bad, I only aware about my weight after almost all my oversize clothes becoming tight to wear, and my stomach is so big, I am self aware about it, and it feel really not good.
I have good upper body, my shoulder, forearm, bicep, triceps but below it, it is nasty, too big, my stomach is like ninja turtle reverse.
it feels so bad, anyone who have big stomach will understand this. But I thank this feeling, without this bad feeling, I probably will not aware about it and continue pack more fat to my stomach.
bad feeling about my body look bad is kind of default safety mechanism, it kind of my body will make me feel bad if I mess with it, and it will reward me if I take care of it.
Like when I have muscle in my bicep or forearm, I just feel good about it, when I succesfully reduce my stomach size, I feel better.
our body really good at preventing us from abusing the limit. but it is not perfect system, sometime is can be hacked, so it is our conscious mind job to protect it from nasty attacker.
about my next plan, I will start to cut all UPF from my daily food again, first I cut out all snack, bad snack like doritos, oreo and soft drink like bottle sweet tea & coffee, coca cola, fanta, etc. change it with healthier alternative like whole nut, unsweetened tea and soda water without sugar.
I will set time when I eat, no snack.