There is no one said it is easy, drastic change is always hard and no assurances that I will success this time, the slip is easy and the repeating pattern is so easy to repeat.
yesterday I plan to do keto diet. and also plan to reset my bad sleep schdule. I stay at coffee shop till 22:00. then I go to my kontrakan. cooked pork sausage. pure pork with pork belly, pork fat, meat and seasoning. after cooked and eating it is about 22:45.
Then I consume melantonin. in hope it help me sleep earlier so I can wakeup early around 6 in morning.
I goes to bed at 23:00 with book, trying to read for 15 minutes then I sleep. but around 00:30 I just wakeup with pounding in my chest, wtf is that. Idk, I try to sleep, but I can’t, struggle to sleep and force myself in bed for 30 minutes maybe, I just wakeup and accept I can’t sleep again. so that is, I can’t sleep.
on that night, I fight the urge to order food using shopee/grab food. it is not so high because I just making rule couple of hours before that urge come. but I am not sure if that urge come today night. I will probably will order it.
To manage my bad habits, it is probably more important, I make system around it instead of just rely on pure will power, will power never work, it work only on initially, it just backward counting before I fail. like battery, that being used to try to stop the urge to fall back to craving. but the battery will go lower and then I am relapse.
I am sick to always end like this.